For those of you that already know me, I should start off apologizing for everything. I won’t, but I should. For those who don't, I would also like to apologize, for how sad and empty your lives must be. A life without awesome jokes and slightly... well maybe mildly overbearing amount of sarcasm. How you have survived is beyond me. You keep putting on a brave face there kiddo.
On that note, I know what you're thinking...man, it is about time. This guy was genetically engineered for this business. A coffee drinking machine with no equal.
More than likely you are now sitting there with your elbows on the table, hands gently clasped, chin softly resting on your hands, head turned slightly to the left and looking upwards and regaling in stories, which by now are probably somewhere close to being almost legendary, like times of two friends sitting and drinking over 19 coffees while playing chess. Thinking..yes, this guy knows coffee like no other man in history.
Actually I would like to interrupt you at this point to say that this is an excellent indication as to my role within Café Novo.
Anyone who would drink that many coffees in one sitting was not doing it for the rich aroma, the subtle notes, or the delicate flavours washing over ones palate, but more for the free refills.
Speaking of free refills...could I tell you stories about the extent that I and my friends have gone to for free refills and the countless times we have been kicked out of places like buffets. But I digress for that is a saga for another time, as when I sat down to write this I told myself that brevity was the key. Now I did not mean the type brevity that would consist of me saying my name and then awkwardly standing there, waiting for anything to come to mind other than discussing the weather, but the type of brevity that you so desperately hope for at an awards acceptance speech where overpaid people throw a massive and expensive celebration in order to pat themselves on the back for all of their hard work. After all they clearly need more attention than they are already getting...their jobs are so important, I mean, doctors only save lives, how often do they entertain us though? And what else would they do with all of that money...fund cancer research? Help provide clean drinking water around the world? You people are ridiculous for even thinking such things!
So as I sit here to write this brief introduction of myself and my involvement with the café, I think it best to begin with telling you that I actually prefer tea. I drink coffee because it is there, in fact I will pretty much drink anything, I have in fact put tablespoons of instant coffee in my mouth and let it dissolve. Some would say it is because I am crazy, some would say I was just too lazy to boil some water, I prefer to say that I just don't play by those rules, and plain and simple am damn adventurous.
Oh by the way my name is Richard and this is why I will be handling the finances.